10Q10Q -- faith, life, rethinking church, following Jesus...stuff
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Journey at Home
My bible reading this morning was not encouraging me. A little prophetic bluster from Isaiah, left me pondering my own brokenness; a little psalmatic (if that's a word) despair--not so cheery on it's face; and then the words of Jesus in Matthew 7. Here I thought would be the upswing and instead I got caught in the underbrush of my heart.
I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to be hard on myself...harder than I ever am on others. So I read "Don't judge so that you won't be judged" and got tangled in my moments of discontent with others rather than the intent of the passage of a gracious balanced look at all (self included).
I read "For everyone who asks, receives. Whoever seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door is opened." and went to that ludicrous place of wondering why a wish-granting God wasn't doing that for me, when I know the passage is about the power of an honest, open, interactive relationship with the Holy, with Love, with Jesus, with God.
I read "You will know them by their fruit" and I whinned to myself about not being fruitfull enough from a western, Type A personality, things productivity, kind of place, when I know the passage has more to do with character than with profits of people, dollars or things.
Here's the big point. I needed to make the journey. It took me about 75 minutes this morning, to read, reflect, pray, grab a few commentaries on line, reflect, digest, pray, process and come out on the other side. Now, no longer discouraged, rather strengthened from my morning devotional time. Now, a little less wandering and a little more on a focused inward adventure. And the
The kicker is this. Tomorrow I may need to do it all over again. Perhaps in the same way, or maybe sitting quietly in prayer and reflection for the same time, or possibly singing songs or serving or something else. I don't always know how it will unfold, but I know I need...I do better with...my adventure is safer, more productive, more satisfying when...to spend that time with God. Each day is part of an adventure for which I need my GPS (Grow, Pray, Study or, if you like, God Positioning System) of the scriptures, prayer, companions on the journey.
The reward is this. It works.
What inward adventures of the Spirit have you had lately?